On Justice and Accountability
I grew up a lot in Iraq. I grew up a lot before and some after but nothing changes you like surviving a war.
It doesn’t have to be a war between countries or even between clashing cultures. The war that can change you might be in your own home. In your own head even.
Don’t underestimate the transformational power of going through the hard shit. No one who has been through anything remotely similar will judge you for the decisions you made when the shit hits the fan and you’re the one that has to make the hard decisions.
I had a mentor in the Army who taught me that you should always do the right thing, even if it’s really hard. I bought into that. Hard. So much so that when I tried to do the easy thing instead of the right thing - in my self destructive youth - my whole life imploded. I pushed for things that I wanted and hurt a lot of people on my path to creating the vision of what I wanted most because I lost sight of what was actually the right thing to do.
I believe that fighting for what you want is important as long as you do it from a place of love and not a place of malice.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
I’m going to take a chance here and talk about slavery. Now, I’m fully aware that as a white woman of privilege, I’m coming from a place of limited perspective, but walk with me for a second.
If the movement behind ending slavery had only focused on the hatred of slave owners and vengeance and retribution, the whole thing would have been a wash. As in, the end to slavery never would have happened and we would still be fighting traditional slavery as we know it. In many arenas, we still are. But the fight for Civil Rights focused on the love of the people. The desire for the betterment of an entire race of enslaved people was at the core of the movement.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.”
I don’t believe in hating people for reasons they can’t control. Hate is so volatile.
As I have aged and matured, grown-up and changed, it’s so much clearer and easier to stand in my purpose and what I truly believe in. To remember that at the darkest times in my life, I had a guiding light telling me to always choose the right thing.
It’s understandable that what is right for one person may be completely opposite for another, but that’s where kindness comes in. Showing grace doesn’t actually cost you any money. Using malice to justify your version of right and wrong will only cause further pain and tarnish your personal convictions. No amount of justification for bad behavior can get us to a place of peace, but coming from a place of recognition and peace and an overview of what it best for all will allow us the understanding and perspective of what others are going through.
When we can look beyond ourselves and the events and feelings that impact us directly, we begin to see the motivating factors of those decisions we are agains.
Sometimes doing the right thing can be hard. Others won’t like that we are causing waves because they don’t like change, even if that change is our moral obligation or righting some kind of wrong. Like owning people. Or calling for justice. Or outing others who go against what is morally acceptable.
Do it anyway.
The world needs your persistence.